Facebook

[Adam Blatner]

Dear all, I'm still wary. The last question is exactly the point: How many minutes a day gets diverted in this direction. 
       As life reorders my priorities, I might imagine a time, perhaps bedridden, where I might want to give this a priority, sustain my socialization and exchange of warm fuzzy strokes using this medium. I am all for people finding their most emotionally supportive networks, and there are trade-offs. But as someone noted, social networks have a strong role demand---translated as people who want and expect you to take the time to check in with them, check out what they've said, consider and respond. 
      One way to think about the target social atom is the people who might be called friends (in that your relations with them are friendly) and yet what amount of time and how often do you want to delegate to this relationship? If you're lonely and wondering if anyone knows you exist or cares---and I've been there when I was younger--- it seems that one can never have too many friends.
       Role demand---what a great phrase.
              It gets us thinking--or me, at least---how much time will I be willing to share with whom? 
     Relationships use time as food. 
        And some are close and sustaining (if you're lucky); and some are medium- or not-so-close, but still sustaining in a way.
            Different kinds of sustaining, too.

        Some of my social needs are satisfied at the medium -cordial -acquaintance level participating in wholesome activities, types of dancing, singing, etc. A few with more conversation, but occasionally, a few more than occasionally, 

   There are role demands of neighbors, based on your common concerns or living near each other
            of extended family, with many variations in levels of tele about this or that aspect, common interest, sometimes only having your kinship and past family history as the commonality   mix with various levels of reciprocity
       e.g., my family is generally not very reaching-out or taking initiative to me, but occasions---weddings, funerals, etc.-- may evoke an invitation... 
             and permutations and nuances are plentiful. 

       What about discovering old friends?  Well, there is one I might want to contact, see what became of him; varying degrees---generally low levels---of interest in others. This may vary with how close those relations were way back... 

       But up against all this is the fact that I find my life pleasantly full with edges not-infrequently into overly full. So as I say, I'm wary about new commitments. 
                  
         As for the sub-group Ivo and Ed and others talk about---what would happen or has already begun to happen that would either benefit me or that I could make a substantial contribution there to in a way that doesn't happen here? 

      Warmly, Adam
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Dr Kate Hudgins 
  To: Edward Schreiber 
  Cc: grouptalk Listserv 
  Sent: Monday, February 16, 2009 10:46 AM
  Subject: Re: Facebook


  yes OMG it is!  I have reconnected with a childhood friend, a psychodrama buddy of 25 years ago, and many many new people in CHina under 30 and many of you whom I already know on email and in real life but now I can see your photos, hear your voices, see your lives and all bc my 30 year old assistant Ashley Florence who some can see on my FB account..said...Kate...come on, we have to get you on FB ......and that was two weeks ago...what did I do with my time before I had FB??????




  On Feb 14, 2009, at 8:22 PM, Edward Schreiber wrote:


    I had to laugh with Kate's posting of "OMG".
    But what else can be said?  I've ignored many friend's inviting me to join Facebook,
    until now.  Just did and within 1/2 I've found/reconnected with friends from 20 or more years ago.
    Amazing sociometry unfolding.


    Ed




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  Kate Hudgins, Ph.D., TEP


  Clinical Psychologist
  Director of Training
  Therapeutic Spiral International, LLC
  ww.therapeuticspiral.org
  drkatetsi at mac.com








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